The �Chinese� Way of Doing Things
By Samuel Ling
Since coming to
Later, when I served as youth director of a
Then I became pastor of a bilingual, bicultural church.� It had ABC leaders and Hong Kong-born leaders, and although we were friendly, there were times we suffered through mis�understandings.� After some thought, I concluded that these misunderstandings were due to: a) pride and the flesh, b) personality differences�some people were more outgoing, some more quiet, c) conflicts between the interests and benefits of different sub-groups within the church, and fi�nally d) the differences in culture between OBC and ABC ways of thinking.� It is the purpose of this article to try to build some understanding of these cultural differences.
However, before we get into details, let�s go over some basic tenets about culture.
Then, if we dig deeper, there are beliefs that people in a given culture share: these have to do with what they think are �right.� For example, Americans believe in progress through science and technology.� If a firm makes so much profit this year, it must do better the next year.� Chinese, how�ever, can often accept much social change�even a political revolution�without either hope or despair.� Things come and go, but the way of heaven-the way of the Tao�remains. So the Chinese develop a more resigned attitude toward change.
Finally, at the center of each culture is its worldview: what is �real� to people in that culture.� For example, Americans and most Westerners view man as the conqueror (or ex�ploiter) of nature.� Chinese, however, view man as the partner, or correlate of nature.� A typical Chinese painting portrays tall mountains and deep rivers, and a small fisherman fishing in his little boat, or a tiny lady sewing inside a hut.� Man is part of nature; the meaning of his life lies in harmonizing with nature.
Second, what is culture according
to the Bible?� It is man�s response to
his God-given task to take care of the world.�
God has called upon man from the beginning to take care of the created
world and to improve the quality of life (Gen. 1:28,
Third, why do we need to understand culture?� Though we would like to think that we can, by the power of the Holy Spirit, overcome any misunderstandings and just �talk things over,� if we are humble and honest enough, we must admit we are indeed strongly influenced by our culture.� And the way we say and do things can detract from what we say and do.
For instance, if I am an ABC and think everyone is equal and call an elderly OBC by his first name and then present, the Gospel, he may be so offended by the �lack of respect� I have shown, he completely tunes out my message.
God calls us to be ambassadors for Christ.� Our supreme mission is to communicate the message of reconciliation accomplished by Christ�s death and resurrection.� But we need to be sure that our message is not distorted by our cultural bias, or misunderstood by our hearers because of their cultural perspectives.
God also calls us to be servants.� The whole mentality of a servant is to understand the needs of those we serve that we may help meet those needs.� By understanding a person�s culture, we get a key into how they think and what they perceive their needs to be.� Perhaps an ABC is really looking for purpose in life.� To tell him that the Gospel offers him a place with God after he dies may not interest him.� Eventually he will learn that truth, but perhaps first he needs to hear that Jesus has made each of us unique and gives us each a special purpose and potential, which sin has crippled.
Paul is willing to look at his own culture (Judaism) with the searching light of the gospel: he knows that, as a former Pharisee, the righteousness of God is revealed quite apart from, and as a challenge to, the works-oriented way of salvation known as �the law� (Rom. 3:21-24).� So Paul�s love for the people of his own culture is not uncritical.� His love is not blind.� It is realistic, because it is for the sake of the gospel.� It is realistic, because he has let the light of the gospel probe and purge his culture.
Paul knows his commission from the Lord Jesus to be an
apostle to the Gentiles, that he may bring about �the obedience of faith� of
the nations (
With Paul�s example and attitudes in mind, let�s now investigate differences between OBC and ABC cultures.� We should understand that Western culture values the autonomous individual; Chinese culture values the cohesiveness of the family, or clan.� That is why in Chinese culture, an individual must not �stand out like a sore thumb.� Actions which are perfectly natural in American society�talking about one�s achievements and celebrating them�would be taboo in Chi�nese society.� Such behaviors may be interpreted as �showing off,� �pride,� or worse, �disrespect.�
Let�s take a specific everyday example.� A Chinese-Amer�ican graduates from college.� His parents come on campus, bringing Chinese food and talking loudly as they arrive.� They complain about the American food on campus, and want to know where they can take pictures.� The Chinese-American is thoroughly embarrassed, and perhaps also completely in�furiated.� �This is my graduation, and you have humiliated me in front of my peers!� What the graduate doesn�t understand, is that the family has adopted the graduation event as a com�munal celebration.� The son/daughter going off to college is a communal family affair�the parents have worked hard to pay for the college education with their blood, sweat and tears.� Now all that sacrifice is paying off�so it is time for the whole family to celebrate.� �Two understandings of the same graduation event�one Western, one Chinese-can lead to much conflict.
Take the wedding as another example.� A Christian young couple is engaged, and secures June 10 as the date for the wedding.� They have contacted their friends in the Youth Fel�lowship, all of whom rejoice with them and volunteer to pre�pare refreshments, decorate the reception hall, drive the bridal car, take pictures, etc., etc.� The Fellowship even can�cels its weekly meeting on June 10.� All of a sudden, however, the parents want to change the date, because it is �unlucky.� Furthermore, they augment the guest list to three times the original size.� They insist on an elaborate wedding banquet in the best, largest Chinese restaurant in town. Every last rela�tive must be invited.� Nothing less will do.
The young people are infuriated.� They come to complain to the pastor and the youth counselor.� What should they do?� All the plans are set, and now the parents �pull this one on us.�
What is happening, again, is that the parents look upon the wedding as a communal event. They, the parents, are the hosts of the wedding.� They decide which relatives and friends to invite, because it is they who are bringing into their family a daughter-in.law! To the Chinese parents, the bridegroom and the bride are almost incidental to the wedding; the important thing is that the family is getting married with another family.� Hence the bickering over the gifts, whether or not to distribute Chinese pastries to relatives, how many tables of guests are assigned to the bride�s family, and how much to tip the waiters.� All of these minute details are ways to celebrate the climax of the sweat, blood and tears for all the years�they are going to get a daughter-in-law, and soon will become grandparents!
Now let, us see how these insights can be applied to the church.� Often when the Chinese church tries to evange�lize the community, it often ends up reaching the individ�ual at the neglect of the family.� For example, a church tries all methods of evangelism�crusades, films, Chinese classes, English classes, and vacation Bible schools.� And it discovers that the easiest group of people to bring into the church building are the children and the youth.� Usually, parents of young children are grateful to the church: �my kids need to socialize with other Chinese kids,� �my daughter needs to learn Chinese,� �my son needs to know how to get along with others in a Chinese way.� So they bring their children to Sunday school, or Chinese class, or Vacation Bible school.
So what does the church do?� It makes demands on the teenage convert to attend Sunday school, worship services, youth meetings, discipleship cell-groups, camps, social events, outings ... so the young person by now has devel�oped a whole new set of friends, none of whom his/her par�ents recognize from before!� No wonder the parents become suspicious of the church.� If the new convert�s behavior at home improves (helps with household chores, does not talk back or argue with parents), no major problems develop.� But as the new convert spends less and less time at home, due to church activities, the parents feel that they have lost a son/daughter.
What has happened is that the Chinese church has adopted a Western cultural value�the importance of the individual�while trying to evangelize a basically Chinese social unit�the family.� How much better if the church learns to communicate with the parents from the very beginning of the evangelistic process!� How much better if the church, in its evangelistic efforts, seeks to demonstrate to the parents that they are respected and honored as the heads of the family.
On the OBC side, parents and church leaders would do well to understand the individualism of the more Americanized Chinese.� Individual privacy and integrity lie at the very heart of the American cultural value system.� It is something the young people grow up with; to deny this is to deny their selfhood.
For instance, let�s say the young people in a church demand an English-language service.� The pastor and older laypeople think the better solution in meeting the needs of the �young people� (even though these �youth� are in their 30�s and have children of their own!) is to have the Chinese service translated into English.� The ABC young adults feel that they will not be properly fed from Scripture if they have to sit through a bilingual service.� So they list reasons why there should be an English service.� The pastor is handed this list.� He responds with bouts of anger.� �Don�t you know that this is a Chinese church?� he roared.� �You are Chinese!� You should speak Chinese!� And we are doing you a favor by translating the service into English!� What more do you want?�
The young adults, feeling humiliated by such an unsym�pathetic shepherd, gather to lick their wounds.� Some draft proposals to start an English service despite the disapproval of the church authorities.� Others simply leave the church, and begin attending a Caucasian, or Japanese-American church nearby.� Still others�unfortunately a lot of them��leave the church, never to attend another church again.
I am not trying to determine the pros and cons of an Eng�lish service here. (Personally, I would opt for the separate English service, with an English-speaking pastor, most likely an ABC!) What I am trying to describe, however, are two different ways of looking at a situation.� Again the difference lies in the two cultures, Chinese and American.
The American way of doing things says: when you face a problem, when a need arises in a group, you make a study.� You look at what the concrete needs are, and what are some options, and which is the optimal way to meet the need.� Then you write up a proposal, listing the costs and benefits, and present the proposal to the board.� And if the board is half-way intelligent, it should buy the proposal, and appro�priate funding from the budget.� This is the way things are done in any American corporation; this is the way things should be done in the church as well.
The Chinese way of doing the same thing is: there is a problem.� There are needs.� Now, as we try to find a solution to meet the need, how can we do so without offending anyone?� How can we make sure that the pastor continues to com�mand the respect of the young people (even though they are 30-plus years old)?� How can we make sure that the two con�gregations which will emerge�Chinese-speaking and English-speaking�will get along with one another?� How can we prevent clique-ishness?� Whose �face� will be lost?� Who will suffer a sense of insecurity in the process?� How will the older people fit into the new scheme of things�will they feel out of place?� We have always done things in this way��preserving face for everyone, especially the pastor and the board; naturally this is the way to handle this situation with the ABCs.
If the Chinese church, a bicultural institution, is to survive the next 50 years, we must learn to compromise between the two ways of doing things.
A third difference lies in the way ABCs and OBCs see authority.� Westerners treat everyone as equals, whereas Chi�nese give respect to elders.� For example a board meeting at a bilingual church is held in English.� An English-speaking person is discussing the pros and cons of a new proposal. And he turns to the pastor and says, �We believe this pro�posal best meets the spiritual needs of our English-speaking, people.� And he fully expects the pastor, who is awkward in English, to respond with his own set of pros and cons on the issue.� What the English-speaking person expects is a genu�ine debate to ensue.� He has treated his pastor as an equal, be�cause he treats everyone else in society as equals.� He talks to his boss at work this way, so naturally the pastor is addressed in a similar fashion.
The pastor feels humiliated.� He remains silent for a while, then mumbles something to the effect that �you young peo�ple don�t really understand the situation.� What the pastor is trying to communicate is: �I am the pastor.� Don�t treat me as your equal; treat me with respect.� And if you respect your elders, you don�t talk to them like this!�
For thousands of years Chinese people have been accus�tomed to a hierarchical pattern of leadership.� There is the em�peror on top, with different gradations of government officials beneath him.� At the local level there are the lan�downers (gentry) who act as the middlemen between the peasants and the local government official (the magistrate).� Everybody knows who the �big men� are in town�the heads of the landowning households.� And they are addressed as �ta-jen� (in Cantonese, dai yan), meaning, �great person.� In another sphere of life, students address their teacher as �master,� or �teacher� (hsien-sheng, or in Cantonese, sin sang).� Fifty years after the student graduates, he still ad�dresses the former teacher as �hsien-sheng,� bringing gifts at New Year and other occasions.� The student�s parents con�tinue to address the former teacher �hsien sheng,� always finding means to show gratitude for having nurtured their son.� Such is the way the Chinese look upon a person who ex�ercises some leadership role in society.
What ABCs need to do is to show sufficient respect to the OBC pastor, in order to establish rapport and communica�tion.� Once the pastor is assured that the ABC is loyal, the stage is set for harmonious cooperation.� OBC pastors, on their part, need to accept the more egalitarian way in which American organizations operate.� They need to find their sense of security in Christ, and not feel threatened just be�cause a young adult fails to show him the proper respect (which only a person immersed in Chinese culture would ap�preciate).
Such rules and regulations make a Chinese-American weary.� And when the young person brings a friend home, he is further embarrassed by how the mother piles food on top of the visitor�s rice bowl, and insists, �You must eat!� You are a growing boy!� Eat!� Doesn�t Mom know that we know how to use chopsticks, and we can get our own food into our bowls?� And doesn�t she know that this is too much for any�one to eat, without indigestion?
Rules and regulations are ways the Chinese community preserves harmony, order and respect.� Think of �respect� as the Chinese equivalent of �love.� If you really love your par�ents, you study hard, and say �Good Morning, Father� every day first thing in the morning.� When you enter the living room, whether leaving the house or coming back home, you always address �Father� or �Mother� before moving on with your business.� Such respect is appreciated by the elder per�son who concludes, �This young person is a really good per�son; he/she will go far.� I like him/her.�
The ABC would do well to express �love� to his parents in ways that they can understand-bringing the first paycheck home to the parents; bringing home some food (fruits, or meat) from Chinatown; observing the parents� birthdays.� In church, saying �Pastor so-and-so, Good Morning!� would go a long way to winning that pastor over to the ABC segment of the church.� Respect spells love.� The OBCs, on the other hand, have a great deal to learn about showing genuine emo�tions with their family and friends.� Love that is never demon�strated may be never received.
A fifth difference lies in the way ABCs and OBCs view themselves.� Americans are used to talk about their strengths and accomplishments.� One may add that American Chris�tians are also used to talking about their weaknesses and failures, with their friends and, increasingly in public (wit�ness the articles in Leadership magazine).� American churches are used to Christians giving testimonies of how God has used them, and the whole congregation rejoices.
The Chinese, however, are used to holding their accom�plishments and accentuating their weaknesses in public.� In applying for a job in America, the Chinese is modest in say�ing, �I know a little about computers,� while he may hold a master�s or doctoral degree in computer science.� The Ameri�can employer expects the applicant to list his accomplishments.� The Chinese has been trained to hide them instead.
In dealing with traditional Chinese, one must be careful not to be too �flashy� about one�s credentials or accomplishments.� While giving thanks to God for the ways He is using us, we must be careful to note for our Chinese friends that �In and of myself, I can do nothing.� Our admission of our weak�nesses is a way we identify with those we talk to.� We are say�ing.� �We are equals; I am not your superior.�
ABCs are often annoyed by these statements of politeness.� For example, while the ABC would say, �Thanks for that deli�cious dinner and a delightful evening� to the host, an OBC might say, �I am sorry I caused you so much trouble; you must have prepared for this for days.� While an ABC master of ceremonies would say to the guests, �I�m glad you came,� the OBC says, �Thanks for giving up your valuable time.� This does not mean that while dealing with OBC elders, we must first crucify our self-confidence.� On the contrary!� Those with real self-confidence would be willing to accom�modate to the other person�s way of doing things, in order to win him.
A word about security�the OBCs often say that the ABCs have an identity crisis; that they don�t know who they are, therefore suffer from a lack of self-confidence.� The ABCs, as a matter of fact, do not have a monopoly on the identity prob�lem.� The Chinese race as a whole has suffered from a cor�porate identity crisis for the past 150 years.� And lack of confidence and security has plagued our people as a whole.� The Bible tells us that true security comes from the Lord, who is our shelter and our strength.� In Christ we are made free.
The world is dying to get some security: it takes secure, free people to help make others secure and free.� The Christian has the only true source of security.� Let�s share it with others!
Meanwhile, it would not hurt at all if OBCs (and ABCs, too) learn to verbally affirm and appreciate the traits and deeds of another person.� We are so generous with reprimands and criticism, so stingy with compliments.� If this is what being a Christian means, who would want to become one?
The OBC and ABC differ in a sixth area of how they regard organization.� Whereas the western mindset is oriented to things logical, cognitive and intellectual, the traditional Chi�nese mind is oriented to the mystical-poetical and to the pragmatic-social.
The ABC is used to organizational structures.� We are taught to think in terms of structures and goals.� We learn lines of authority, and hierarchical diagrams.� We define each position in an organization with title and job description, complete with criteria for evaluation and termination policy.� We then organize teams to accomplish objectives, and call meetings either to plan or to evaluate progress.� We write memoranda, we take and approve minutes, we write reports, we keep files, we computerize our data.� We accept people into the membership of the church with ceremony and cer�tificate; we assign them tasks and give them titles.� We send our young men off to seminary to earn degrees, then we or�dain them and call them �Reverend.�
Translated into everyday life, this means that the Chinese mind is basically uncomfortable with organization, red-tape, paper-work, official and formal lines of authority, formal membership in an organization and business meetings.� The Western mind is �left-brain� oriented, it is cognitive; the Chi�nese mind is more �right-brain� oriented; it is aesthetic.� We as people have learned to operate in the Western world of productivity and efficiency as a means of corporate survival.� We become engineers, accountants and doctors in a sub�conscious effort to survive in the modern world.� So the OBC living in the west either learns to adjust, or experiences a traumatic personal transformation.
What does an ABC Christian do?� How could life go on in the church without clearly defined lines of criteria of authority and function; without job descriptions, criteria of evaluation, and business meetings?� The Bible speaks of the church as a body.� It also regards the church as an organization�the Bible gives qualifications for leaders, and also provides a structure for church leadership.� I think here it is not a matter of choosing between having an organizational apparatus and not having one.� Rather it is a matter of making sure that the OBC leadership understands what a group is trying to do, before the OBC receives the memo or report; be�fore the formal meeting takes place; before he is made aware of the formal lines authority.� Build the relationship; organiza�tional matters will follow smoothly.� Ignore the rapport with the leaders, and no matter how much organizing you do, things will not be understood.� Things don�t get done.
It is an art to understand the ambiguities of the Asian way of doing things.� And just like any art, practice makes perfect.� Spending time with the Chinese people will help one under�stand this ambiguous style.
Whether one is at home with a cognitive or an aesthetic, a left-brain or a right-brain culture, we need to be a �total-�brain� people, reaching out in wisdom and in love in the name of Christ.
Seventh, leadership is earned differently between ABC and OBC cultures.� We in Western society are used to formal�ized means of recognizing leadership.� We recognize a person with an academic degree, or a professional license.� In church, we recognize a person with a Master of Divinity and one who has been ordained.� We put him in charge of a con�gregation, and he (in many churches) presides over the offi�cial board.� Such leadership positions are accepted by all who know how the organization works.
In Chinese circles, however, the axiom �Respect is earned, not conferred� really comes into play.� Chinese laypeople recognize the pastor as leader not because he has a degree, or is ordained, but rather because he has demonstrated him�self to be a leader through years (note the underscoring of the word �years�) of consistent, faithful service.� The Chinese responds to a coordinator of clean-up as one who also cleans up; to a transportation coordinator who also drives and gives rides; to a coordinator of Christian education who also teaches Sunday School as well; to a pastor who serves Christ humbly, both in the pulpit and in the janitor�s closet.� This does not mean the Chinese church should make the pastor do everything.� This is just to say humble service is what peo�ple recognize as a sign of leadership.
Thus, an ABC cannot automatically expect respect in the Chinese church.� First, he must demonstrate he is truly filled with the Holy Spirit, and an effective communicator.� After all, this is what the church expects of any OBC leader.� And in a way, this is most Biblical: as James says, our actions must back up words.
Also, the ABC leader should keep in mind that the OBC sees leaders in terms of relationships, not function.� An exam. ple of this from Chinese history can be seen in how the Chinese warlords in the early 20th century demanded personal loyalty from his soldiers�loyalty not to his army, but to him.� Thus, some OBC laypeople have a hard time getting along with a pastor who speaks only on a business level.� Just issu�ing memoranda to the people, asking them to fill out surveys, making a �Suggestions Box,� etc. will not suffice.� They do not respond to that type of leadership.� Instead, there needs to be the personal reaching out to people�to discover what they are thinking and show the leader is truly interested in their feedback and welfare.� This is what Chinese expect in a. leader.
Not only is leadership earned differently, but expectations, toward leaders vary.� An ABC pastor may think that if he fulfills his job description or the organizational chart, that�s it. Anything else he does for his congregation is his own choice, and if he chooses not to, it does not mean he is not a good leader.� But for an OBC congregation, a leader is seen as a symbol of values cherished by the community. Thus he is expected to perform a sundry list of community functions: for example, to be present at a birthday or �red-egg� banquet; to settle a household conflict; to give advice whether a fam should invest in such and such a business; to offer counsel as to which college or major a young person should choose; etc.
Most often, the pastor is asked by the parents to �tell the kid to straighten up,� to behave and to respect his parents.� And very often the pastor�s wife acts as solicited or unsolicited matchmaker!
ABCs tend to become annoyed with these extra burdens placed on their lives.� What the Americanized person needs to understand is the tremendous importance of these rituals of value affirmation for the Chinese family and community.� If the gospel is to make an impact upon the Chinese commu�nity, indigenous Christian ways of affirming Christian values must be designed for the Chinese people, so that they may celebrate the Lordship of Christ in a cultural form which they recognize and esteem.
Finally, there is the difference in how to resolve conflicts.� In Americanized circles, verbal, direct confrontation is normal, and expected.� When a person does something wrong, he should be informed, in person, orally, directly. In Chinese cir�cles, however, direct confrontation is �face-destroying.� It tears apart the fabric with which the community is woven.� A more accepted way of dealing with conflict is through in�direct conciliation.� For example, a person wants to voice a complaint in the church.� He speaks to a responsible layper�son, and that middleman brings up the subject with the pas�tor or the official board.
Instead of directly confronting an OBC person, the ABC can employ the technique of first approaching an English�-speaking OBC, who understands both the ABC�s point of view, and the cultural forms of the OBC involved.� By going through this route, the OBC�s face is saved, and one has won a brother.� Why not?� What is there to lose?
The traditionally trained OBC, on the other hand, needs to learn how to �speak up� and make known his/her opinions in front of a group, or in a meeting.� Such direct communication, is necessary for the proper functioning of Christ�s Body (Phil. 2:1-2).
We are living in a transitional age.� The OBC leaders in the Chinese church increasingly recognize that they, too, are living in a transitional age.� The future leadership belongs to the English-speaking, to the ABCs.� The ABCs very often feel that the OBC pastor doesn�t understand this.� From my own con�versations with OBC pastors, I find that most of them do un�derstand it.
The problem is: the transition must take its course through a whole generation.� Some of us cannot wait that long, I can understand their feelings.� However we are talking about moving a whole culture, deeply entrenched in a millenium-old tradition, to a modern, Western style of organization and leadership.� Even more importantly, we are talking about transforming both OBC and ABC culture according to the light of the gospel (this subject is beyond the present article).� It is no small task!� It is going to be painful for those who cherish the tradition; it will be a tremendous responsibility for the new generation to pick up the baton.
The baton belongs to the future leaders.� Will they be patient and understanding, so that when the time comes, they will indeed step on to the front stage of the Chinese church?
(Reprinted from Chinese Around the World, June-August, 1984.� With permission from Chinese Coordination Centre of World Evangelism.)