As the parent of two college-aged kids, and as part of the Center for Career and Calling, I know the last thing my kids want from me is career advice. I have a business major who’s discovered he’s an artist, and a fashion designer who’s discovered she likes business and entrepreneurship better.
I worry about their careers. And my first instinct is to badger them into updating their LinkedIn profiles and applying for internships they are not interested in at all. I’ve learned to hold my tongue while I ask open-ended questions. And I try to remember these key tips:
- Talk less. Smile more. Do I really need to say what I want to say? Probably not. I have a mantra I spin in my mind: “The most important thing is maintaining a relationship with my child.” Choose words carefully to keep relationship doors open.
- Look for strengths. Catch your son or daughter doing things well and compliment those abilities, even if it’s different than how you would do things. Point out the natural tendencies you see in your child when they are engaged in something they love: “You really light up when you are on stage speaking to a group of people,” or “You seem to really enjoy being with children and are a natural teacher.”
- Listen well. Show your student that every time he or she sees you it won’t turn into a quiz show about life plans. This past summer I made a goal not to bring up career plans and instead concentrated on listening. My daughter told me she wants to open her own business. I asked, “What makes you excited about being in charge?” and then I stopped talking. She rambled on and I learned more than I could’ve imagined about her.
- Stay neutral. Yesterday my son told me about a decision he’d made that goes in the exact opposite direction I’d like. I asked, “That’s interesting, tell me about how you came to that decision.” My non-defensive stance opened him up to an entire conversation about who he is and how he’s wired, and then he started talking about his career plans. I didn’t have to say a thing. Trust your young adult to think things through, and trust that you’ve instilled in them all you can.
Is your student curious about how they are wired? SPU’s fun, 15-minute online assessment gives your student instant results, plus ideas about which majors and career paths might suit them best. (Moms and Dads, you can take the free assessment too!)
Remind your student that the Center for Career and Calling is open for your student all year long — for appointments, résumé reviews, mock interviews, help in choosing a major, and more. e resources on résumé writing, job and internship search tips, and tools for choosing a major.
Plus students can join the virtual part-time job fair on September 17, and another virtual career fair on October 7.